Life for some is just a huge pile of stress, dreams dashed upon the rocks, with struggle after struggle, holding desperately onto hope as though it were a life raft, but a life raft that needs to be continually patched so that you don't sink.
My husband lost his job today....homelessness is looming on the horizon, merely a repeat of last year....never, no never, think that it cant happen to you. We are well educated, and have worked hard for everything we have managed to keep during all of the losses we have suffered. People seem to think that this only happens to other people, it isn't. We are definitely not, nor were we, amongst the white collar wealthy....but were/are amongst the struggling middle class that must carry the burden of all classes.
My children look to me for strength, reassurance, and love, I am the glue that binds, and I must hide my pain as I tell my kids that we have to move again, and to where...I do not know.
I WILL, however, assure them that everything will be ok and that this is just another one of life's detours, an adventure, a learning experience that will only make us stronger. Everything will get better because I believe it will, I have to for their sake.
I am clinging to my last bit of hope, my life raft, and I take out yet another patch....
Monday, July 26, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Discipline and The Word "NO"
Before reading this article please make sure that you have the comprehension level above that of an ape and the ability to understand that which you are reading. Do Not jump to conclusions! In this article I am primarily referring to the tantrums and dis-respect towards others that I have witnessed amongst today's youth, and possible solutions to the problem. That being said, please, read on.......
I have read more child rearing magazines, articles and books over the years than I care to mention. I must say they have become very interesting over the years as well. Instructions on how to discipline, let the child choose the discipline for his or herself, and my favorite how not to discipline. When the answer has been there the whole time....the simple use of the word "NO" and meaning it. I have read articles about whiny parents who have no idea how to deal with little Johnny in the grocery store when he is demanding the candy bar while throwing a mind-blowing tantrum. Look the child in the eye and in a very firm voice say "I told you no and that is what I meant!" But you really must mean it! Don't falter, don't back track and give in, show no fear! Yes, you read that correctly, show- no- fear. Children can sense when you begin to falter, they know that just by throwing that loud, embarrassing and obnoxious tantrum he, or she, will get exactly what they were demanding in the first place. They have figured it out people, they know how to manipulate adults to receive the coveted items that a really great tantrum will produce. Children need to be guided by you, you are their parent(s) after all. Children have been placed in charge of their own lives with very little guidance by their parents, or guardian, for far too long. They have no idea what limitations are and have no idea what to do when faced with them now or possibly later in life. Take responsibility for your own off-spring! Quit reading the rubbish on the best sellers lists and raise your own children with your own instincts. Believe you me, people were raising children long before the "child rearing information" gauntlet began. A fact that I find quite irritating is that many of the so called child-rearing "experts" don't even have children of their own! While some of the child rearing ideals of yesteryear were somewhat barbaric, and I am by no means condoning practicing some of those ideals, children were more respectful and well- behaved. I must state that some forms of punishment used long ago were horrible and should not ever take place; such as boxing of the ears, rapping on the head, grabbing, shaking, etc. I must also add that I don't believe in beating children in anyway, and while I don't use spanking as a means of discipline myself, I also do not consider spanking as a beating.That being said....
I do have my own strategies and philosophies when it comes to child rearing. Take tantrums for instance. While, honestly, my children rarely threw tantrums and were actually very happy babies/toddlers, tantrums did occasionally happen. In the event that one would occur, I had a basic remedy for it. Since they were too young to discuss their behavior with, I would simply remove them from the situation that was causing the tantrum. I would then proceed to cuddle them and speak soothingly until they calmed down, change location or toy, or if that didn't work I would place them in a safe area such as a playpen or baby bed until they could calm themselves down. I didn't take them out during nap-time or bedtime if at all possible as this could lead to the sleepy-breakdown. I learned to read their cues and I knew when things were going to escalate into a tantrum. As they got older discipline was necessary at times. I have always proceeded the same way, 1) I almost always explain why I said "No", I say almost as not every situation calls for an explanation. 2) I always explain why I am angry or dis-appointed in their behavior or the undesirable situation. 3) They are sent to their room,(no TV, radio, toys, etc), to think about what they did or said and also what they should have done or will do. This also gives them, and myself, a moment to cool down so our conversation will be more productive. 4) When the time out is over and an apology, if necessary, is rendered we will discuss what happened and try to find a possible solution for the situation . All parties will be heard and then the subject will be put to rest. I don't think harping on whatever occurred necessary and it is just counter-productive to do so. 5) I always tell my children they have voices and opinions and they have a right to be heard. Even if we don't see eye to eye on all subjects at least they know they will be heard. My philosophy is, show them respect and they will learn to respect. Also, it's imperative to set a good example of self-respect as this will help them make better decisions with their own lives now and in the future.
I have received many compliments over the years on how well-behaved my children are, not only from family but strangers as well. We were/are able to go to a restaurant and enjoy family time without our children screaming and running around the table like little beasts as I have seen other children do, all the while the parents are sitting there acting like it wasn't happening and doing nothing to stop this bad behavior. This is not only unfair to the other patrons but it is unfair for the child(ren) as well, as it will inevitably lead to someone getting hurt. I love my children enough to step in when necessary to avoid them becoming injured or possibly injuring someone else. This in my opinion is good parenting.
I know you have heard of the somewhat odd phrase....Discipline is love....though odd, it actually is. When you set realistic and reasonable expectations/limitations and expect your children to adhere to them, again within reason, while actually following through with discipline when needed, you and your children will be much happier. Believe it or not children feel safer knowing that someone is in control of their environment, (don't misconstrue that statement as in- being controlling), and lovingly guiding them in the right direction so they will have a better chance at a good future while also keeping them safe. No, you can't be with them all of the time, but with proper guidance they will make better decisions the majority of the time. And yes, any child can sometimes be mischievous, but in my opinion that is a normal part of life. I also believe that children should be left to work out some things for themselves and you should only step in if it looks like a situation may get out of hand. This is how they learn better problem solving skills which will assist them throughout life. With age, love, and proper guidance comes wisdom!
I have read more child rearing magazines, articles and books over the years than I care to mention. I must say they have become very interesting over the years as well. Instructions on how to discipline, let the child choose the discipline for his or herself, and my favorite how not to discipline. When the answer has been there the whole time....the simple use of the word "NO" and meaning it. I have read articles about whiny parents who have no idea how to deal with little Johnny in the grocery store when he is demanding the candy bar while throwing a mind-blowing tantrum. Look the child in the eye and in a very firm voice say "I told you no and that is what I meant!" But you really must mean it! Don't falter, don't back track and give in, show no fear! Yes, you read that correctly, show- no- fear. Children can sense when you begin to falter, they know that just by throwing that loud, embarrassing and obnoxious tantrum he, or she, will get exactly what they were demanding in the first place. They have figured it out people, they know how to manipulate adults to receive the coveted items that a really great tantrum will produce. Children need to be guided by you, you are their parent(s) after all. Children have been placed in charge of their own lives with very little guidance by their parents, or guardian, for far too long. They have no idea what limitations are and have no idea what to do when faced with them now or possibly later in life. Take responsibility for your own off-spring! Quit reading the rubbish on the best sellers lists and raise your own children with your own instincts. Believe you me, people were raising children long before the "child rearing information" gauntlet began. A fact that I find quite irritating is that many of the so called child-rearing "experts" don't even have children of their own! While some of the child rearing ideals of yesteryear were somewhat barbaric, and I am by no means condoning practicing some of those ideals, children were more respectful and well- behaved. I must state that some forms of punishment used long ago were horrible and should not ever take place; such as boxing of the ears, rapping on the head, grabbing, shaking, etc. I must also add that I don't believe in beating children in anyway, and while I don't use spanking as a means of discipline myself, I also do not consider spanking as a beating.That being said....
I do have my own strategies and philosophies when it comes to child rearing. Take tantrums for instance. While, honestly, my children rarely threw tantrums and were actually very happy babies/toddlers, tantrums did occasionally happen. In the event that one would occur, I had a basic remedy for it. Since they were too young to discuss their behavior with, I would simply remove them from the situation that was causing the tantrum. I would then proceed to cuddle them and speak soothingly until they calmed down, change location or toy, or if that didn't work I would place them in a safe area such as a playpen or baby bed until they could calm themselves down. I didn't take them out during nap-time or bedtime if at all possible as this could lead to the sleepy-breakdown. I learned to read their cues and I knew when things were going to escalate into a tantrum. As they got older discipline was necessary at times. I have always proceeded the same way, 1) I almost always explain why I said "No", I say almost as not every situation calls for an explanation. 2) I always explain why I am angry or dis-appointed in their behavior or the undesirable situation. 3) They are sent to their room,(no TV, radio, toys, etc), to think about what they did or said and also what they should have done or will do. This also gives them, and myself, a moment to cool down so our conversation will be more productive. 4) When the time out is over and an apology, if necessary, is rendered we will discuss what happened and try to find a possible solution for the situation . All parties will be heard and then the subject will be put to rest. I don't think harping on whatever occurred necessary and it is just counter-productive to do so. 5) I always tell my children they have voices and opinions and they have a right to be heard. Even if we don't see eye to eye on all subjects at least they know they will be heard. My philosophy is, show them respect and they will learn to respect. Also, it's imperative to set a good example of self-respect as this will help them make better decisions with their own lives now and in the future.
I have received many compliments over the years on how well-behaved my children are, not only from family but strangers as well. We were/are able to go to a restaurant and enjoy family time without our children screaming and running around the table like little beasts as I have seen other children do, all the while the parents are sitting there acting like it wasn't happening and doing nothing to stop this bad behavior. This is not only unfair to the other patrons but it is unfair for the child(ren) as well, as it will inevitably lead to someone getting hurt. I love my children enough to step in when necessary to avoid them becoming injured or possibly injuring someone else. This in my opinion is good parenting.
I know you have heard of the somewhat odd phrase....Discipline is love....though odd, it actually is. When you set realistic and reasonable expectations/limitations and expect your children to adhere to them, again within reason, while actually following through with discipline when needed, you and your children will be much happier. Believe it or not children feel safer knowing that someone is in control of their environment, (don't misconstrue that statement as in- being controlling), and lovingly guiding them in the right direction so they will have a better chance at a good future while also keeping them safe. No, you can't be with them all of the time, but with proper guidance they will make better decisions the majority of the time. And yes, any child can sometimes be mischievous, but in my opinion that is a normal part of life. I also believe that children should be left to work out some things for themselves and you should only step in if it looks like a situation may get out of hand. This is how they learn better problem solving skills which will assist them throughout life. With age, love, and proper guidance comes wisdom!
Monday, June 21, 2010
New Posts are coming soon.....
I am in the process of researching for my upcoming blog articles. I always make sure that I have viewed the subject from different perspectives and have my facts straight before proceeding to write my articles. I would rather have sound information for those that read my blogs, than just plain rubbish like that which is dished out by those that write the (controlled) "news" or "paid off" articles. Occasionally I will also be writing some movie and book reviews. In addition to my articles and reviews I will also give my opinion, and nothing but my opinion, on various subjects. My opinions are usually written on the spot as I think of them so please forgive possible typos and grammatical errors. This being said, I really need to get back to work to provide what I have promised. Happy Reading!!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Jazz and Emotions
Jazz music is positively loaded with history and emotion. Yes, emotion, and a wide range of them I might add. Like the bud of a flower, it continues to unfold with each generation and their interpretation of life and it's melody. To me this music genre can evoke emotion like no other music possibly can. As the genre has unfurled itself over time it has revealed so many facets, or sub-genres, that it seems limitless as to what it is and can potentially be. I don't think that you can completely define jazz, nor would I ever try. The musicians, singers and the songs themselves are products of life and it's many sufferings as well as it's happiest of times. If you have ever seen or listened to a jazz musician, or singer during a performance you can actually hear, see and experience their passion and fervor for life and jazz itself. Here are some performances to show you as to what I am referring to. This is Dave Brubeck playing piano, Paul Desmond on alto sax, Eugene Wright on bass, and Joe Morello on drums. The song is "Take Five". Which is an incredibly smooth and completely relaxing melody that can carry you away. Joe Morello, who I might add was vision impaired since birth, gives an excellent performance by delivering a beat that sets the flow of the song. As for bass, it always sets the mood and poetry of the music itself.
This is a fun and fabulous performance by Dizzie Gillespie and Louis Armstrong. You can see the light hearted mood they set with their overall good humor, scatting and then using their trumpets to complete it. They were such wonderful musicians and they seemed to really enjoy performing this song. The voice of Louis Armstrong brought so much to any song he ever sang. They were and will remain true gifts to Jazz music!
Love lost, unrequited, or just plain gone wrong, and the aftermath that follows almost always causes melancholia, anguish and just pure heartache to anyone who has experienced it. Here are a few songs performed by an amazing couple of ladies that can truly bring the whole emotion and meaning of love lost to their performance. You can almost hear the anguish in their voices and sense the pain that love must have caused them at some point in their lives. Billie Holiday performs "I'm a Fool To Want You". The picture that accompanies this video, to me, seems to show the raw emotion that she felt as she performed this song.
This is "I've Gotta Right to Sing the Blues" as performed my eternally favorite Female Jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald.
The lyrics to this song seems to sum up the aftermath of heartache. This is "Good Morning Heartache" sung by Billie Holiday, who I might add originally performed this song.
Now for love gained, the delicious part of it, and how good it makes you feel when you have it.
I am very fond of this song and no one can sing it like Big Maybelle. I just never grow tired of listening to her. This is "Candy" performed by Big Maybelle.
A modern day Jazz artist that brings the aura of sexiness to the jazz genre with his melt you like butter, velvety textured voice is Kurt Elling. He is truly a treasure to Jazz music.
I have only touched the tip of the ice burg with today's blog, I am by no means through with this cruise through Jazz and it's full emotional range. I hope that you have enjoyed this installment and there will be more to come in the following weeks.
This is a fun and fabulous performance by Dizzie Gillespie and Louis Armstrong. You can see the light hearted mood they set with their overall good humor, scatting and then using their trumpets to complete it. They were such wonderful musicians and they seemed to really enjoy performing this song. The voice of Louis Armstrong brought so much to any song he ever sang. They were and will remain true gifts to Jazz music!
Love lost, unrequited, or just plain gone wrong, and the aftermath that follows almost always causes melancholia, anguish and just pure heartache to anyone who has experienced it. Here are a few songs performed by an amazing couple of ladies that can truly bring the whole emotion and meaning of love lost to their performance. You can almost hear the anguish in their voices and sense the pain that love must have caused them at some point in their lives. Billie Holiday performs "I'm a Fool To Want You". The picture that accompanies this video, to me, seems to show the raw emotion that she felt as she performed this song.
This is "I've Gotta Right to Sing the Blues" as performed my eternally favorite Female Jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald.
The lyrics to this song seems to sum up the aftermath of heartache. This is "Good Morning Heartache" sung by Billie Holiday, who I might add originally performed this song.
Now for love gained, the delicious part of it, and how good it makes you feel when you have it.
I am very fond of this song and no one can sing it like Big Maybelle. I just never grow tired of listening to her. This is "Candy" performed by Big Maybelle.
A modern day Jazz artist that brings the aura of sexiness to the jazz genre with his melt you like butter, velvety textured voice is Kurt Elling. He is truly a treasure to Jazz music.
I have only touched the tip of the ice burg with today's blog, I am by no means through with this cruise through Jazz and it's full emotional range. I hope that you have enjoyed this installment and there will be more to come in the following weeks.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My retort to the HCR bill fiasco...
I can see how you would have trouble understanding what the problem is with this HCR bill. I read BBC articles quite often and quite often I find myself shaking my head in disbelief that you would let your government control you like they do. Just because you let your government tell how to live your life isn't how we, Americans, want, or would ever choose to live. They decide what is good for you and your children from health care to child rearing. I really do keep up with what goes on in your country and you are very well controlled. They don't even feel that you are even competent enough to raise your own children. I believe in my FREEDOM to choose what is best for my family. They, your gov't, have appointed themselves your guardian for centuries and now our gov't has done the same for us. This just doesn't sit well with those of us that see the writing on the wall. Consider the fact that our gov't has already begun enforcing medical procedures and drugs on our children against their will, and their parents will by using and implementing the threat of taking custody of them, the children, if they don't acquiesce to said procedures and drugs. Just one example of this is the use of chemo on minors. It is well documented that this has occurred . Check it out for yourself. While, perhaps some of the HCR bill might have some qualities worth considering, the fear is actually coming from what is NOT being said and the loopholes that are in place for future control of other aspects of our lives. Where does the control end? Such as the possibility of the gov't eradicating or giving pharmaceutical companies control of homeopathic/alternative methods of health care. Could this also possibly lead to them deciding what food that we eat....so on and so forth. While quite a few believe that this is just insane conspiracy theory rhetoric, the fact remains that the control has been put in place. So many people are being fooled by the shiny new penny being waved in front of them .What control will the power hungry gov't go for next? This is setting a precedence. Perhaps YOU dont comprehend the magnitude that this bill will have on OUR life and FREEDOMS here in the USA but we DO. Have you ever heard of Ben Franklin, or perhaps the Revolutionary War that separated us, finally, from your egotistical, over bearing, control obsessive country? That is what our forefathers fought for, FREEDOM from government tyranny. This seems to be a repeat in our history. I watched the Senatorial debate this morning and the Dem rep from NY stated that we will love this new health care reform, eventually, once it is "explained" to us on our level. As though we are just too ignorant to understand anything on our own. They want us to become Stepford Wives...it isn't so bad. This is a political party fight for control. We are the victims here. The fear mongering is coming from BOTH parties. Let's be clear on that. Also, just so you know what I might be referring to concerning your govmnt and its control over you and your children, is the Gardasil fiasco. Your govmnt. actually decided to hand out gift certificates to little girls if they would agree to be injected with that garbage that Big Pharma is peddling as a guarantee to prevent cervical cancer. They have no proof of their claims. Also, you might want to check out all of the reports of the actual documented side effects that the poison they are peddling is having on those poor little girls. Have you ever read 1984? I have. It seems that England and now the US could very well fit the bill for the very situation that occurs in that story. Yes, I am concerned about this HCR bill because it isn't just about health care. Side note...our taxes are already high and will become much higher.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Personal opinion
I must say that writing a blog is the easy part, it's all of the other areas of blogging that are quite confusing. For instance I inadvertently joined something called a feedburner because I thought that it was for advertising purposes. Then I thought that it could be used to send my blog to my Twitter account, which it can be, and I thought I did, still not sure. However, now I am so confused now about the whole thing that I am not quite sure what happened. I felt like it was a wham bam thank you mam situation. I think I canceled it...but now I am wondering if I did, did I need it. I have so much to learn about blogging. I know that it will take some time and definitely some patience in this new life endeavor. As I am typing this blog I am wondering if it will actually show up on my blog for anyone to even see. Also, the thing that I noticed about the feedburner site, or whatever it was/is, there was advertising that I just can not and will not condone. For instance, anything relating to use of pharmaceuticals, or the child care garbage they were peddling that is not, in my view, safe. I am completely and utterly against pharma and anything associated with it! So, that being said, I don't believe that adsense is for me either I just don't want my name associated with anything that I wouldn't use myself or at least believe in. Now that I have voiced my opinion today, next I will write an actual article, after of course I have recovered my feedburner experience.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Being 43 and Coming to LIfe
Being 43 and Coming to Life
- Mar. 11th, 2010 at 8:38 PM
I feel as though I am just awakening at the age of 43. I see the world so differently through my 43 year old eyes. There is more clarity. I am embracing life, my life, and what it has to offer. I am casting away the restraints that have bound me for so long. I have decided to chant a new mantra...I am tired of being aspiring....I want to be acquiring!! I had an epiphany as I stood there singing and doing the dishes for the 896th time in my life. I was thinking about how I am an aspiring jazz singer.... journalist... chef...and artist. I thought about how I am aspiring to accomplish and be so much yet have let fear of ridicule and failure to bound me, to restrain me, to suffocate me. I have survived so much in my life. The list is long and the whole emotion of it would only exhaust me and keep me in the restraints that I speak of. I am ready now to pursue, to acquire, to accomplish......to live. I am wide awake now life....my eyes are wide open....I have come out of life's nightmarish world only to be stronger.
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The following is my retort to an opinion given on the Mother Jones sight concerning the HCR bill by a UK citizen and his/her inability to understand why we don't want "free health services"....and I quote..."it just means paying a little more in taxes for something you were going to pay for anyway."
The UK citizens are used to govnmnt control...